Marrying Your Best Friend

The Church was 100 Degrees

The Church was 100 Degrees

It sounds like a good idea, but it’s better to marry your fiance. Everyone says their husband or wife is their best friend, but that is such a dishonor. The marriage covenant goes far beyond being best friends. Best friends don’t tell every deep dark secret. Best friends don’t have 100% transparency, you only find that within marriage. At least, if it’s a good marriage. Deep dark secrets make for good blackmail material you only trust that kinda stuff to your spouse.

Don’t get me started on soul mates, because if one couple gets it wrong, and then gets divorced, the entire soul collection is thrown off.

BTW, 15 years ago today I got married.

How To Be a Great Host (Overnight Edition)

IMG_0210

Fixed it!

Everyone has stayed at a friends home and found out what a great or terrible host they are. Some don’t even know it. They think they are more like Newhart when it’s closer to Norman.

Be Home

If you are expecting company ask for a rough time the arrival date. Next step is actually being there at that time. If you can’t and your trust level is high leave a spare key in a trusty hiding spot. Greet them at the door with friendliness and hospitality. Bro Hugs are acceptable for guys who haven’t seen each other in a while. Handshakes are a standard.

Tidy up the place

Especially the guest room. Doesn’t have to be spic and span, but a nice once over. Clean sheets and fresh pillows are nice. Smart travelers bring their own pillow to avoid neck complications.

Bathroom

Make towels and washcloths easy to find. Toilet paper should be stocked. Bonus points for a bar of soap in case they forgot theirs.

Don’t stay up too late

Long after your guests have turned in, don’t continue your loud antics of yelling at sporting events. Random bursts of laughter from the poker or board game will surely inspire insomnia for the next few hours.

Get up before they do.

There is nothing quite as awkward as waking up in someone’s home while they’re still sleeping. It’s like you’ve broken into their home and you’re are trying not to startle them from sleep. They might forget you’ve spent the night, which leads to you being on the receiving end of a buckshot breakfast.

Bonus Points: Ask ahead of time for food favorites

Especially food your guest might like. Don’t plan ahead and stockpile the fridge with their favorites. Turn your place into a bed and make your own breakfast. Keep old cereal and just enough milk to cover the bottom of the bowl.

Conclusion

Hopefully your guests didn’t pack their bags and sneak out of your house in the middle of the night because they didn’t get a good shower or a hearty meal and are covered in bugs and dog poop.

What are some of your house warmest feelings and experiences?

Disclaimer: To all my friends and family these are just worst case scenarios, not something I’ve experienced at your house.

How to be a Good Softball Coach

Easy Catch

Easy Catch

On the other side of the coin of the previous article, here are a few tips I’ve learned (from my mistakes) on how to be a good softball coach.

Good fundamentals

Each kid will have their own style so don’t try to make everyone look like clones.┬áThere are plenty of websites and Youtube videos that teach you how to play the game. Teach them the mechanics of throwing, catching grounders/flyballs, batting, and base running. Once you have the basics down teach them about force outs and tag outs, defensive base runner awareness. Little kids can only handle the basics, but some can surprise you. If you get really good with the basics then progress towards more advanced topics and drills. Don’t be in a rush.

Be a good sport

It’s okay to fail, it’s not okay to trash talk or throw equipment. Kids don’t need to see you do this either. Keep your composure when bad calls or something seems unfair. The kids are watching, they will reflect what they see. Have the respect and courtesy to congratulate the other team on a good game even if you win or lose. If the other team makes a good play encourage your players to mention it to them if they have the chance.

Positive correction

Offer positive feedback when teaching the younger ones. This is where teaching fundamentals are essential. If your child is on the team have one of the other coaches instruct them during practice and give feedback. They will probably listen to them, especially if you are being too hard on your kid (which I tend to be on my own).

Don’t try to be perfect

Everyone makes mistakes, we all lose games, and have bad days on the field. The key is bouncing back from low points, learning from mistakes and keep improving.

These are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned in the short three years I’ve been a coach. It also helps to start out as an assistant coach and learn from others. No ones coaching style will be the same, just respect your players and have fun. Remember, try not to make little girls cry that is the worst feeling in the world. Not that I’ve done that…

How to be a Jerk Softball Coach (Kids Edition)

Don't leave lasting scars

Don’t leave lasting scars

Yell at your kids

Say things like, if you don’t do “X” you are not fit to wear our jersey. Yell at the other teams players too. Yell things like “You’re out, you’re out” if the play is close. Maybe the kid will walk off the bag so your players can tag them. In general just scream loudly at our players during the game to cause general confusion so the other players can’t concentrate.

Complain to the ump

Keep going to the umpire for any call that you deem questionable. Argue until you get a 7 year old girl out on a technicality.

Run, Run, Run

If other teams girls don’t have the arm to gun it from second base, run your players to score as many runs as possible. If you see a player that may be confused about a play, run your players around her. Pushing the other kids down works too.

Block the bases

Have your players block the base so that your kids can tag them out even if they fumble with the ball. They can’t be safe if they can’t touch the base.

Block the line of sight

If you play in a coach pitch league, have your pitcher block the player’s line of sight so it makes it hard to throw the ball to first.

Remember, it’s all about winning. Who cares about fundamentals and good sportsmanship. You get bonus points if you can make several girls from the other team cry.

Pros and Cons of Coca-Cola Freestyle

Coke Freestyle

Too many options

In short, these machines are great if you know what you want.
Pros

  • Allows many flavor varieties of your favorite soft drink beverages.

Cons

  • It’s basically a high fructose corn syrup, food dye and artificial sweetener dispensing machine
  • Decision anxiety, especially if there are people standing behind you
  • Long lines because people are not able to make decisions about their beverage
  • People who sample beverages, dump them out, then try some more.
  • Drain gets filled with ice because people over fill their cups.

Suggestions for improvement

Add an extra button for sweeteners, you can choose between real sugar, high fructose corn syrup, saccharine, aspartame, sucralose, or stevia. This will make the line longer, but I want a real sugar or stevia option. I doubt anyone willing picks unnatural or sweeteners they can’t pronounce.

Did you ever have a best friend?

I don’t like the concept of best friends. If you have a few good friends (1 to 3) that are reliable and will do things for you and appreciate the things you do for them that is all you need.

The idea of best friends is childish. I mean that in a very condescending way towards adults. Saying that you have a best friend is an attempt to isolate someone else.

Basics of Baby Gadgets

Before front packs were cool

Before front packs were cool

If memory serves we didn’t buy too many baby gadgets. We were given many of them as gifts because people thought they would be helpful. Some were, some weren’t…

Front/Back Packs

We never considered our kids to be baggage in the literal sense. We tried the front pack, but our children seemed to be filled with concrete and it became quite stressing on the spine. Backpacks allowed children access to the back of your head to pull hair and grab earrings.

Baby Monitors
These can be a blessing and a curse. They will let you know when your baby’s in distress but also make you lose many nights of sleep if you have the volume up too high. I’ve heard about sensor pads for the crib mattress to monitor movement and heartbeat but in my opinion that goes too far in the areas of sleep deprivation for parents. At one point we had one of those night vision video monitors. It’s a bit unsettling to wake up in the middle of the night to see your child staring into the camera like a zombie with those dilated pupils.

Car Seat
They’ve come along way since the 5 gallon bucket tied to the seat with twine of the 70s and 80s. We are thankfully out of the car seat and now into the booster phase. Cleaning a car with a booster is much easier. There were many times I’d pull out the car seat to find an entire box of cheerios and or goldfish behind and underneath it. Remember, no car seat is safe if you’re an idiot driver or under the influence of intoxicants. We love Britax.

Crib Accoutrements
We didn’t buy the bumpers or extra padding transforming the appearance of the crib into a padded cell at a psych ward. We had a very sturdy solid wood crib that transformed to a toddler bed, then into a full size. We still have it and will pass it down to our kids. We once received a music soother that hung on the crib so that baby could activate the noise to help go to sleep. However, if baby woke up at 2 in the morning and hit the button our baby monitor would let us know.

Stollers
We has several, our favorite being the Maclaren Volo. It was a great portable and sturdy stroller. However, here comes a time when you need to let go of the stroller and let you kid walk. There is a whole site dedicated to kids who are too big for strollers

Leashes

Don’t get me started on these but I understand some parents think they need them. However, if you are going to treat your child like an animal you might as well let them eat from a dish on the floor and roam the yard with no diaper.

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