When one door closes…

When one door closes, another one opens. Some say a window opens, but don’t go through the window. Someone might think you are breaking and entering and you will go to jail. Just open the door that closes, then you will get to your intended destination.Unless the door is locked there shouldn’t be a problem. Maybe you should just find a place that doesn’t have any doors or windows.

How to potluck…

IMG_2339

  1. Be invited to one. If you see someone having a potluck, don’t ask why you weren’t invited because you already know why.
  2. Bring something good. Don’t offer to bring plastic ware, cups or drinks, the host should already provide those. Don’t bring a bag of chips, bring something that you made! There’s nothing more frustrating than a potluck provided by all the local grocery store deli departments.
  3. Make sure your crock pot or serving vessel is clean. No one wants to ladle out slop from what looks like it’s been used to feed farm animals.
  4. Let others eat your food first. If there is any of your food left, enjoy a portion when you go back for seconds.
  5. Take a small portion. If someone was lazy and brought a Chick-fil-A nugget tray don’t fill your plate with 60 portions thus depleting the supply. The point of potluck is to try a little bit of everything, not hooking up your feedbag of greed and gluttony.
  6. Clean up after yourself, and clean your crock pot for goodness sake.
  7. I know it’s the 21st century, but let women and children go first, this shouldn’t need to be said. However if there are any feminists in your group/family, cut in front of them so they feel equal, but only if they let you.
  8. Finally, always bring deviled eggs, otherwise your potluck is a disaster.

Guide to Facebook commenting

FBComment

Be funny

Everyone else says something dumb, you be funny, or funnier than the previous comment. Don’t rest until you beat the dead horse on a subject. Remember to insult people in the previous comments. If you know a dark secret about someone let that out too in the comment box because that’s always hilarious

Don’t be rude

Congratulate people on their accomplishments, but not too much. If you feel the person is bragging then bring them down a couple of notches. Remind them of their past failures.

Scoreboarding

If someone posts the results of a test and they get a 10/10, say that you found some secret bonus question that allowed you to get a 11/10.

Be interesting

Now is your time to add knowledge to the subject, make up stuff if you have too. The point here is to draw attention to yourself and away from the person starting the conversation.

Grandstanding

If someone has did something, went somewhere, or tried something, remind them that you’ve already done it. Remind them that you also did it better or with greater precision. You also appreciated it more than them. If someone else comments after you, increase your comment grandstanding with even more embellishment. Use Photoshop insert celebrities in your vacation photos and attach them to the comment. If all else fails, insult their mother.

Avoid arguments

You can tell if someone wants an argument, so don’t take the bait, unless you are right and they are wrong. Then don’t give up until you are un-friended, de-friended or blocked. Facebook arguments are worth losing friends over.

Be Depressing

Everyone wants to hear how much worse your life is. Similar to prayer shot blocking, you can come up with something worse than the previous comment.

Be Creepy

Find an old post from when the person started using Facebook. Make a comment even if the post and last comment is from 8 years ago. If it’s a picture of food ask for the recipe.

PS: Don’t do any of these things mentioned above.

Superman didn’t return…


This was one of the first blu-ray discs I purchased back in 2006 when I got the PlayStation 3. We’ve been watching all the Superman movies in anticipation for Batman v Superman. We put this one in the player and the disc wouldn’t work. Turns out that the disc had deteriorated in the case. It’s not visible, but none of my drives would read it. Can’t seem to find my receipt from 2006, so I guess I’ll just buy another one or not watch it? Yes I do like this movie and I like Man of Steel, which we will be watch again soon.

Waterfront Park Pineapple Fountain at Midnight

Waterfront Park Pineapple Fountain
This was taken after midnight during a vacation to Charleston. The road to Folly beach was blocked by a car accident so I drove over to waterfront park to snap this picture. #tbt

Dealing with Passive Aggressive People

People have a sneaky and sometimes not so sneaky way of insulting you and getting away with it. Don’t let it make you feel bad.

“Must be Nice!”

Examples: Wow, date night again? Must be nice! You get to work from home? Must be nice! You know what it really is! Maybe you should stop complaining and start living your life.

“Just Kidding”

This usually comes after a horrible insult. Even people who know you will say the worst thing that might contain the skin of the truth. They follow it up with “Just kidding” as a way to insult you, but yet not insult you. They still said it, they are still thinking it. This person doesn’t like you

“I wish somebody would…”
Could be any task, such as taking out the trash or doing some task. Sound like they have available time, maybe they should do it. Just ignore them.

It’s better to just be honest and aggressive rather than be passive aggressive. Say what you mean, communicate clearly.

Recommended Website: Passive Aggressive Notes

No fist bumps please…

  
I’ve never been a fan of the fist bump or even high fives. I certainly don’t teach it to my children. Most grown ups will attempt to high five or fist bump my kids. I’ve taught them to shake hands with adults. I think is condescending to kids to fist bump or high five. Don’t try to stoop down to a lower form of hand greeting. Bring them up to your level with the age old standard of the hand shake.

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